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vedder
Posted on 2006.05.17 at 13:58
Current Mood: sadsad-ish
Current Music: Life Wasted//Pearl Jam
What's my problem?

I won't let myself get into a relationship.

why?

... there's been a couple guys that have shown interest in me, and I've shown interest in them, but I won't let them get close to me.

fear? maybe. but from what? i might know. but, I guess my real question is, how do I get over this?

I let them slip away, then they move on and find another girl or whatever, and then im wondering what happened. ....but, obviously, it's my fault for that.

but why do I keep doing this even after I've figured out my actions have formed a pattern....?

Am I just too picky? 
Am I waiting for someone to come back? 
Am I not wanting to get hurt again?
(on another note, I wish I could track Darren down just to fucking punch him in the face)
Am I not wanting to be judged?

maybe...

It's driving me crazy.


Why can't I just follow through with anything?

*I almost deleted this entry, a few times,. but i need to get this out there, maybe now i can sort things through.

**I might end up deleting this later.

I don't know why...
I never told you
I don't know why...
I never tried


At least I can REALLY look forward to the rest of this week, cuz I'm finally done with classes!!!! :D :D :D
...and Pearl Jam tonight!!

Comments:


humor_yourself at 2006-05-18 15:17 (UTC) (Link)
Hug

I hope you figure this all out.

Not every guy is a jackass. There has to be someone good out there, and not everyone will treat you like that boy.

I want to quote the great rapper, Ghostface Killah, who layed down a lovely rhyme in his latest album that might be applicable

"Word life, put you to school when the clubs'll stop
College girl, pay for your books at 200 a pop
And all I ask in life's for you to be careful
Stay focused, take care of your health
Have kids and marry a prince
Good luck and happiness
And no longer shut yourself in, taste the pain, the sorrow
The sun'll shine and still come out tomorrow"

I don't know if that helps. I sure hope you can get something outta it, and if you ever need to talk i will listen always.
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